kristin has been a bad kristin
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
