Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize