if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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