So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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