I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
