help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
