Just fell off a train. Bad.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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