if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
