Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
