I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
