i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
