the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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