i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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