Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
