see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
