paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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