so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
