Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
