i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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