So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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