I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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