it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
