he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
