It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
