Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
