it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
