Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
