I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
