I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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