The maid of honor just puked.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
