i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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