a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
