Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
