You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
