you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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