I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
50% drunk capacity currently
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
