He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize