Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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