so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
