I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
