I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
