i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
