Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
