No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize