don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize