I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize