Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
