Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
