apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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