am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
