I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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