WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
