I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
