she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
