I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
