Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
