Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
