i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You were trust falling into bushes
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
