this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
