and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
