Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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