Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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