Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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